Ok: My problem with cupcakes is that they can’t help being messy.
Come on people! The cupcake doesn’t enter a shrink-field as soon as it passes beneath the nose! Also, cake has sugar. It follows, then, that a cake in a cup will have sugar. Sugar is sticky. So, the evil plan of cupcakes is to make us look ridiculous with frosting on our faces and make our hands sticky so we don’t dare touch anything important.
And I really wanted to eat my cupcake :*(