Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Comic










Don't ask me where this came from. I don't know. Or maybe has to do with the fact that if I have kids, I'm dressing them in only yellows and greens so as to have maximum fun with strangers. This is what I wish I could say.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Make it Hot

Caution: Pick up line ahead!

So there I am in MexiGong drive-thru, doin' my SexyVoice when an SUV pulls up with two guys my age(ish) in it. I'm running both orders and cashier duties, so I get their credit card and make the payment. When guy 1 (G1) hands the receipt thingy back, G2 says:

"Does that receipt come with your phone number?" :D

Really?

Well, we're doing a program where we want people to call in and give good reviews. If they mention my name, even better. I figured, lets turn this into something good:

"It comes with a phone number that, if you call and leave a review of MexiGong, you have a chance to win a thousand dollars!" *ching!* tooth sparkle* "Would you like any sauce with your order?"

G1: I'd like some...HOT sauce (imagine twitching eyes accompanying this)

Me: Okay, some hot sauce. (I'm getting it set up)

G2: I'd like some fiiiiire sauce!

G1: Don't give him any; he can't have any.

G2: No! I want some fiiiire sauce!

G1: He can't have any. It's too hot and it makes him cry.

G2: But I want some!

Me: I'll give you a fire sauce. (I hold up one packet and place it on the small mountain of hot sauce.

G2: Only one?

Me: I don't want you to cry...

G1: Too bad you're married

Me: Indeed

G2: He's joking! I'm not married...

Me: (laughs, trying not to snort) Here's your food.



Next car pulls up:

Older Lady: They sounded like they were in a good mood...

Me: Hey, at least you're not flirting with me (she laughs)--not that you couldn't if you wanted to--I'm sure you'd be good at it...


People interest me.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Story!

Hey all!

One of my stories just posted over at realbloggersunited.blogspot.com

Check it out if you get a chance :)

Say Again?

Today's transcript treasures...

I mean really. I want to find these people and ask them more questions.

Att: And how did the accident damage your marriage?

Wns: It ruined our sex life.

Yay! Sex! Every transcript could use a little spicing up with some sex...

Att: I don't mean to get too personal or pry--

Get personal! Pry! Pleeeeeazzze!

Att: But how many times a week did you have sex before the accident?

Wns: Oh, every day. Then after the accident, I was in too much pain to want sex as much as he did. That's when he found that woman.

Att: Do you know where he met her?

Wns: No, and I don't care.


Classmate 1 (female) to Clssmt 2 (male): See? They're still out there, you just have to look.


And the joy of reading through a piece of the O.J. trial with my teacher deadpanning O.J. saying "I loved her. I loved her very much." with the obvious subtext is "...if I wasn't a lying sack of New York sewer waste."

That, along with a two-parter on a guy who got maced at two different bars "for no reason" made for a killer day.