I do Civil War Reenacting. (if you don't know what that is, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org) I dress as a male cannonner "Red" with the 3rd US Mounted Artillery. The following is the "After Action Report" I wrote for the club newsletter. For more information, visit warhorse.org
After a relaxing leave, I received a call to arms paired with a strong suggestion that I appear in light of the numbers attending. I set out for the rendezvous, encountering Madame A also on trek for the front having heard rumors of her son being sighted in that area. Madame's carriage being faster than my feet, I hitched a ride. Twas almost a pain in my heart and a tear in my eye to see all my fellow comrades in arms after such a long absence--reunited at last! One I did not recognize was the new Cookie, though there are elements of familiarity with that face...with the food. It will come to me in time, I am sure. After all, as one in the Secret Fraternity of Clerkhood, information is MY bread and butter.
Our valour in the face of the insurgents and the heat must have touched a heart string somewhere, for a breeze struck up during our much-earned siesta. Upon returning to the gun, we were joined by a new cannoneer. Having not run the transfer paperwork myself, I was naturally curious as to his identity. I put all my natural subtlety as clerk in to action. "Who are you, where have you come from, and in God's name why are you HERE?" I received a completely unsolicited "Bug off, stripey". This did not fill me with joy and goodwill. Many of you will remember a certain Cpl. F that joined Our Lord some years back, leaving the lovely Widow F. Then, a brother appeared from nowhere to take his place not only in her affections, but in the saddle as well. This Cpl has been absent all while a similar-visaged man has been sauntering around in Lieutenant bars. And now another brother F appearing as a cannoneer? I submit that something officially fishy is taking place; therefore, I will investigate with all the resources at my disposal and inform the commandment of my findings. That said, I do feel the Corporal has a firm understanding now of the proper procedure with which to present rounds to be loaded. Taking such a duty so lightly as to include skipping is not to be tolerated.
Morning brought to the forefront such important issues as: would there be enough eggs? (there would) who shot Big Guy? (a horse did...one of the black ones) and was the state of the Captain's soul such that it would behoove him to attend Church Call? (it was, so it would) I also realized at this time that, somewhat to my clerk-y surprise, there was no one left to hunt down for ration money. I would like to send my gratitude to all those attending for stepping up to the plate and not making me chase you in that heat.