Saturday, March 9, 2013


Adventure time for me!

I visited the great land of Bedroom and took a trip on the "Pants" express. On the way down the mountain, the car took a sharp detour and derailed.

Point being, I broke my leg while changing for work. It was like a bad Rice Crispies commercial...

"Aaaaahhh!" *Snap* Crack(le)* Pop*

Glossing over the unfortuate and painful details of dragging myself through a mortifyingly messy apartment with an ankle that flopped back and forth over a lack of stablility in the "hinging" area,

I will tell you that breaking a bone sucks.

I will tell you that I work at an awesome vet hospital. Who did I call as I was sitting on my floor in more pain than I've ever been in my life? (And I have a high pain threshhold...this is how I'm able to gnaw on my fingers like I do in my version of a bad habit) I called my boss, who then called a coworker to take me to the ER. You know who you are!

I will tell you that the firemen that service my area are useful even when they're not looking into my eyes and saying, "All that matters to me is your health," in the pictures that were taken and viewed multiple times since to distract myself from the pain.

I will also tell you that when you are little, crutches look really fun. This is not true. Crutches are annoying. I have named mine "Pain" and "Suffering" and they are by my side at all times. I can not climb stairs with them yet.

I'm going to sum up my ER visit with this:

I wish I could have gone to my work place instead for care. I would have been willing to get down on all fours and bark if I thought it would work. I know the procedures, I know the prices of everything, and I get discounts :D

Ah well.

Took medical leave from school, have to sit while at work (....sadness.... >:), and everything takes three times as long. One coworker, every time I ask her to find a chart or get something, shakes her head and mutters "useless". I can't tell you HOW this is speeding my recovery!

I fear I will have 6 weeks worth of filing to make up for, though.

I got a boot from the orthopedist who, funnily enough, has teh same name as one of the doctors I am rather fond of here. When they said his name in the ER, I got really excited....for about three seconds. Then I remembered he treats animals, and I would be seeing someone completely different.

He seemed to know his business, I guess.

There is a lot that's negative about the whole experience, but as you know, I prefer to dwell on anything but. Silver lining in all this? My little sister came up to visit. She mentioned a conversation in her head that went something like this:

"Oh! Poor Redgirl! I can go up and keep her company, maybe fix her meals while I'm there and situate her stuff. We can chat and watch Criminal Minds or Wire in the Blood together and I can work on my crazy quilt and try to entertain her!"

What she got instead was:

Yup. My sister gave up her three day weekend at the drop of the hat only to clean my apartment when she got here.turn my apartment from mortifying to horrifying, then onto cleeeen. She's pretty awesome.

I'd like to say I've been blogging with all my free time, but when she cleaned, she uncovered lost seasons of NCIS, Castle, and the Mentalist, so I haven't exactly been bored.

But it's back to the grindstone, so onward!


Andrew said...

You're actually NOT the first person I know of who broke a major bone in the process of changing clothes.

I've had my own share of bizarre injuries; while it doesn't include this exact kind of injury, it does mean I find myself hearing about all kinds of bizarre injuries that other people have.

Like the time I sprained my knee getting into bed, which caused me to miss more than half of my sophomore season of college soccer. When I hobbled up to the practice field on crutches the next morning, one guy assured me that injuries could always be even more embarrassing... like his high school teammate who apparently broke his arm putting on his pants.

To my eternal regret, I didn't ask how.

Carolyn said...

I could have sworn that was an actual picture of your living room, until I looked closer!
This was a Ha ha, wince, ha ha , wince. Ha ha ha ha ! Post.

redgirl said...

Andrew, you ALWAYS ask how! That's how you get the stories! Now go find out :)

Mom. Ha. Haha. Hilarious.