Wednesday, February 4, 2009

....is that a...Fuzzy Onion?


From where I sit, I can see the fuzzy backside of an onion. At first, I took it for a heavily waxed apple, but the rest of the bag appears to have yellow onions, so...

Things go bad in the kitchen, but the onion says more. It says "whoever bought me intended to actually fix something that required more cooking than the use of a microwave" or "they forgot about me on top of said microwave".

The fuzzy apple is more forgivable, and therefore not as interesting. After all, the styles for eating a Jonagold and a Vidalia wildly differ. One buys a bag of apples to keep up on the middle right hand side of the food pyramid. Very noble. (tho not as noble as buying a head of cauliflower in a singular stab of optimism). Wilted scummy lettuce is you wishing you had bought the pre-cleaned and bagged stuff. Moldy cheese is....a redundant phrase. Rotting meat is laziness. Face it, your freezer is at eye level. Anyone having trouble with this concept should look by the door. Check for Velcro fastening shoes. Check.

There are two excuses for a fuzzy onion:
  1. It is in a cupboard not in plain sight, and another, newer onion is currently half gone in your fridge. This proves that you could and were going to use it, but honestly and completely forgot about the little devil. A silver star for you, oh gourmet chef!
  2. It was the shriveled runt in a bag of 5 or more others that have already or are getting ready to make their way through someone's digestive system. Congratulations on your thriftiness, plus the fact that you were able to get through the other five onions before THEY molded...a GOLD star for YOU! :D
I have 1/3 of a beautiful red onion in my crisper. Time to get my backup....

1 comment:

Boots and Saddles 4 Mel said...

I hear you about the lettace. I ALWAYS regret getting the whole heads instead of the oh so convient bagged, washed, ready to eat stuff.