Thursday, October 15, 2009
I Don't Want to Screw You, But I Will if You Make Me (pt. 2)
So, the previous post established that when it comes to assigning rooms, I use my superior (yes, that's what I said) knowledge to give you the closest thing to your requirements as I am able.
Sometimes though, you finicky traveler you, you undermine my decision and cause me to have less than sunshine feelings for you. In this case, what I "am able" to do for you may and will fall to a different level than if you had just minded your own business and let me mind mine. To illustrate, I offer the Gaines (names changed to prevent lynching) for your reading pleasure.
Me: (to self) Hmm...we are very full tonight. I think I shall assign rooms now rather than later. *peruses the arrivals list* Oi, look here! The Gaines would like a suite if it becomes available...and it is! I can move them out of the double queen into a suite and cancel the second reservation that would require them to move rooms! *pats self on back in a self-satisfied manner* I am such a good Front Desk person!! *basks in self-congratulatory smugness*
Enter Stage Right: Gaines Family (Mr. Gaines, Mrs. Gaines, and Miss Gaines-daughter) The family carries with them several large suitcases...they are here for 3 weeks. Mr. Gaines approaches the counter where Front Desk Clerk (FDC) is doing check-ins.
Mr. G: I'd like to check in
FDC: Certainly sir. (pulls up res.) It appears we were able to get you in the suite for the entire length of time, so you will not have to switch rooms after all! May I see your credit card and ID?
Mr. G: Can I see the room first?
FDC: (remains unruffled at this annoying request) I'm sorry sir, but I don't have anyone available to take you up. If you find anything out of place, you can just call me when you get up there.
FDC checks in the Gaines, they leave the lobby stage left. After about 45 minutes, they return from stage left.
Mr. G: Do you have any other rooms? The sofa bed is too soft!
FDC: Too soft? (audience can tell she wants to laugh, but is able to contain herself) What did you have in mind?
Mr. G: Well, earlier we were in a double queen for the first few nights. We'd like to go back to that.
FDC: (Unfortunately, FDC has made another reservation in the meantime...a reservation for the double queen she just moved them out of. Audience can see her thinking frantically) Well sir, when you reserved your room initially, you requested that if the suite became available for the entire length of your stay, to be moved. After moving you, that particular room was booked.
Mr G: Well, can I see it?
FDC: Even if you moved into that room, you would have to move out again in 1-2 days.
Mr G: (to Mrs. G) What do you think?
Mrs G: (to Mr. G) It might be worth it...
FDC: (sees that the desired result is not what she has hoped for) The room is actually not available tonight. You can check back in the morning and see if it is available
Mr G: I want to see the room
Audience has been made aware through a program insert that the hotel is full tonight, with one double queen kept for emergencies. This room is in the dreaded auxiliary building and has no balcony. FDC does not intend to do the room switching game tonight, there is too much else on her plate.
FDC: The room that you would get is not available
Mr. G: If I could see something similar...?
FDC: Sir, we are full tonight. I don't have rooms set aside just for showing purposes.
Mr. G: But we'd like to move!
FDC: Even if I were to move you now, I wouldn't be able to save your entire stay in that room, because of this weekend, in which no double queens are available. You might lose the last two weeks of your reservation.
FDC knows that if she fiddles around for an hour or so, she could probably figure something out, but the Gaines family isn't listening to her. She has given them what they said they wanted, and they are now changing their minds. FDC's mental breakdown should start here...gradual, but obviously taking place.
Mr. G: (to Mrs. G) Would it be worth it?
Mrs. G: (to Mr. G) It might be...but you would want to see the room.
FDC: (audience can see this is not the desired reaction FDC was hoping for) But sir, like I said, you can check in the morning to see if the room has opened up.
Mr. G: But we want to move tonight.
FDC: I can't move you tonight.
In order not to irritate the audience, it is necessary to cut out the exiting and returning of the Gaines family no less than 3 times throughout the evening, using a total of 45 minutes of FDC's valuable blogging time in an attempt to move. FDC knows if she moves them to the only double queen left, that they will not only want to move back, but will complain of the noise profusely. She is thoroughly disgusted with the Gaines family. They do not leave her alone. They won't listen to her when she says she can't move them. Finally, she comes up with a plan. Audience can tell FDC is hanging from the rope of her sanity that is slowly fraying...pop! pop! pop! as the Mr. Gaines takes a rusty hacksaw to the length above her. She doesn't want to look down, but does. There are crocodiles down there. Salt water ones. Vicious. Time is short-as are her teeth after she has been grinding them together all evening.
FDC: Sir! The only room I have with 2 queen sized beds is in a different building. Although renovated as well, it is different, and has no balcony. It is nothing like what you would get and would not benefit you in the slightest to either see it or move in to it. If you really need a room change that badly, you need to check in the morning. I have nothing left to say on the subject.
Mr. Gaines seems to understand (finally) and he nods, gathers his brood and exits stage right for dinner. FDC is obviously relieved and we see her go into the back room. The stage rotates, and the audience can see her throw her arms in the air and yell AAAAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGG. We see her compose herself, and go back up to the desk. Disaster has been averted.
Seriously though, this was the most frustrating thing imaginable. And they kept. coming. BACK. Wouldn't leave me alone.
I know now to put my foot down at the very beginning. Say exactly what I mean and what I'm going to do. In this case, if I'm not willing to move them, just say I have no rooms, but that if a room becomes available tomorrow, then they can check then to see it. Something in what I said obviously led them to have a glimmer of hope. I must crush this glimmer before it gets away from me.