Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Helpful Note for Friends, Family, and Flatmates Current and Future

The Redgirl Sleep Phenomenon
or, as Em calls it, "Lies, Lies, All Lies!"

Some of you may know what happens when you need to wake me up for some reason. Probably because you have learned through trial and error. Below is a simple (and useful!) how-to guide to avoid confusion, frustration, and missed appointments to do fun things. Also included or things not to do and their possible results.


When attempting to wake the Redgirl, begin the process before you actually NEED her to be awake. Start with a half an hour.


You can start by saying "Redgirl!" By hearing her name, she will rouse, be beware: what you hear is not necessarily what you get. (this part is what Em calls "lies". I simply call it "perseverance needed") Redgirl does talk in her sleep, and this is not much different. She has been known to have entire conversations with people on the subject of getting up and not remember them.

When she was young and her mother had to get her up for school, Redgirl became very good at yelling "Yes? Of course I'm up!" while being asleep. This allowed her to gain precious minutes of slumber.

If you hear phrases like "just one moment!", "I'm getting up!", "I'll be right out!", or anything similar, Redgirl is probably not awake. Ignore anything she says at this time.
Another thing to avoid is, if there is something planned, to believe her when she says "I've decided not to" or "go on without me". She does not mean it. She will be angry with you when she gets up and will not listen to you excuses.


At this point, you may be ready for confrontation. You might even want to try the old "rip off the covers to shock her into alertness" approach. This is Not a Good Idea. As one particular roommate has discovered, this makes Redgirl mean. Redgirlis not usually mean, but if something were to do it, this would be it.


You now have two options. For these, you need tools. Option one is to call her phone. Redgirl sleeps with her phone next to her ear. She uses the phone as an alarm, but when someone calls, she will answer. And when she answers, she can be reasoned with. Even if you're in the next room, try calling.


If you don't have a phone handy or are unable to use the above method, try the following. Be warned, this is a Last Resort. Invest in a squirt bottle. Fill bottle with cold or icy water. Squirt exposed areas.

This will get results.

You can warn first, if you like. If you have to use this method enough, the barest mention will induce an effect similar to Pavlov's dogs.

Her mother only had to use it once. After that, Redgirl knew she would do it and reacted accordingly.


Mel said...

Would like to point out that if you call redgirl on theh phone, she will probably think you are her alarm clock and will hang up on you.

redgirl said...

Hey....redgirl always checks first!

lifeshighway said...

I like the squirt gun approach even though I am not involved in any of these waking ceremonies. With a gun in the doorway, I have a good 5 second advantage enabling me to run in a bathroom and lock the door.

Grew up with all brothers, I have major defensive skills.

Wendi said...

Can I just send my two boys over with their light sabers?