Thursday, December 10, 2009

Pumpkin Post


In yesterday's post, I hearkened back to a year ago when I wa
xed eloquently (and rather whine-ily and self righteously) about people who leave their pumpkins out to melt in progressively drooping and moldy stages throughout the year.

Today, I have come to 'fess up. I threw stones...because I had not yet committed my pumpkin crime. Now I submit myself to be pelted with seeds and other innards in my contriteness.

This is Larry.
I bought Larry at the local pumpkin patch (Safeway).
I defaced and carved into Larry, removing his innards and a face that (likely) mirrored the sadistic look on mine while eviscerating him.

But hey. Pumpkins don't have feelings, right? Even ones named Larry.

I took it inside because I was having a thought.


Would she fit? I mean, here's this pumpkin...and a was the most natural and normal thing in the world!!

And she liked it. Uhuh *noddnodd* She would have stayed in there had I let her. Look how happy she is!

And yup, Larry looked amazing on our little patch of gravel outside the front door.

And lit, Larry was even more lovely!


Time passed.

A lot of time.

Like, in pumpkin years, a lifetime.

To put it bluntly, Larry had died when no one was really paying attention, and the gnats had started to spring forth from his moldy pulp. The gnats would swarm the passerby. (my advice? Breathe out dear roomies!)

I didn't want to believe that Larry had died. We had become so close in those...few....days?

Or more possibly, once I admitted he was dead, I would have to actually do work to get rid of him. (One can only recall the Christmas tree...I rest my case)

Sooo...I avoided the slow splooshy spreading of his gourd-corpse.

And this isn't the worst he got, I am ashamed to say. He was *wince* kinda *wince* one with the stones.

But hey! That poor plant needed fertilization, by golly! I was only doing my environmentally friendly green recycling Al Gore tree hugging thing.

At least that's what I told my roomies.

And now you.

Other than that, my lips are sealed. In fact... here.

These are my lips, completely sealed from telling the tru--

*ahem* From repeating filthy lies perpetrated by the roommate who actually used a shovel that fateful day. So here's a shout out to you...Thanks Em!

So I'd like to late have you left out/left up holiday decorations?


Funder said...

Hahaha, pumpkin cat! I bet our cats would do the same thing.. but I don't carve pumpkins. I know myself, and I'd have a zombiekin for months.

lifeshighway said...

Since the left over decoration thing is a pet peeve of mine, my stuff disappears almost immediately. The day after Christmas, I am already glaring at the tree.

Anonymous said...

at least the pumpkin got eviler and eviler looking, scariness being replaced by a look of malicious glee of a true evil zombie pumpkin. And Larry exhaling gnats? isn't this from a horror movie?
Let us set the scene..... there is a lady who lives in apt 75B, she has lots of cats and only comes out at night, there is an evil Larry gargoyle that breaths bugs at you..... you get the pic