Friday, April 29, 2011

Lalala! I Can't Hear You!

Ok. Just because I have decided to pick up my fiction, that doesn't mean that I could ever abandon my people watching roots.

Conversely, all my stories could be works of fiction, and you would never know! That's the beauty of it.

So, this really happened. (Or did it? That's for you to guess and me to know.)


There I am on the bus with my trusty headphones in (spy *ahem* people watcher's tool number 4) and the scene sits as such:

In front is a Caucasian blond woman, nice shiny blond hair, with a tattoo of a hawk head on the left bicep and the words "Born Wild" in script on the other. In front of her is an older Asian
man. A trio of Af. Am. mothers with their small children enter. Cue dialog:

Well, to be honest, I have no clue what they said. The point I started paying attention was when the Asian gentleman started screaming at them to be quiet with a strong accent.

"You're being so noisy! All this talk talk talk! I can't hear anything! You need to be quiet!" or some such. The mothers, of course, had to have their say--or their "shout" rather:

"What you talking about! Don't tell ME to shut up! You're so rude! Yah! You're the rude one! I'll talk as loud as I want!" and so on.

The thing that makes this more than just a petty spat on the bus (trips without
them are few and far between) is the lengths that the Mom Side went to to taunt the poor Asian man, who broke out at one point in what I can only assume was Mandarin while shoving his fingers halfway down his ear canals.

Sure, he probably shouldn't have yelled at them in the first place, but for the next ten minutes (literally), they made a point to be really loud, talk about how rude he was and, with the help of the blond woman in front of me, encouraged their brood to make as much noise as possible.

An example:

"I think you have something to say! You wanna be loud? Noisy? You just scream as loud as you can now!"

Really? Can we at least TRY to act like adults, even if we aren't?

Ok, so maybe not. But I can always hope.


Mom L said...

Redgirl, you have such marvelous adventures! Reminds me of sitting in front of a hispanic family at the movies - they were talking very loudly while the movie was on. I stewed and steamed, and finally started counting (about the only Spanish I could remember) - uno, dos, tres...and my daughter punched me.

But, hey! The family got quiet!!!

Nancy in Iowa

redgirl said...

That's what I like -- affirmative action! Next time try saying things like "burritto" "Chalupa" "Gordita" all of which are in that fair language.

Or, if you're feeling creative, make up some Spanish words:

"El silencio, por favor el boy y la girl. If-ay you don't-ay, yo soy el muerta you"


Anonymous said...

Wow! I'd love to fluent in a second language like you Redgirl!
Annabelle Lee

lifeshighway said...

Oh course, you were just a silent witness to the chaos and just acted as an impartial reporter.

My Mom does speak fake Spanish and believe me it is very very embarrassing. She thinks adding "el" and ending everything in "-o" pretty much sums up the entire language.

Anonymous said...

If you want to add Italian to your list of languages lifeshighway, use your mom's rules and add the accent from the frozen pizza comercials. It is more fun to be the embarrassor than the embarssee
Anabelle Lee

redgirl said...

I like your thinking, Anabelle! Next time I am in public with the little bro, I'm sure I can pull that off.

As for you LH, I am dismayed at your cynicism! Your mother is perfectly correct in linguistic assumption :)

lifeshighway said...

Annabelle, I think I can pull of French too. All I would have to do is as "Z" everything I need to say "the".

Oooh oooh, I would be a hit in Quebec.

redgirl, It is embarrassing when your mother actually thinks she is speaking Spanish as opposed to purposely humiliating me. I can respect that.

Anonymous said...

LH, I'm sure the natives of Quebec are very nice and would not hit you
Annabelle Lee

Carolyn said...

I see a new world of linguistics laid out before me! I don't know why, now, that I have wasted time feeling so inadequate in my Spanish. I will now speak in Espanita, (a little espanol, personalized up to my proficiency).

redgirl said...


"Do you speak Spanish?"

"Well....I speak Espanita! Hola, me hombre. La sol es muy brighto today."

lifeshighway said...

Hey, I'm bilingual.

I'll put that on my resume.

redgirl said...

Ah, but can you speak pig latin? That's another resume maker :)

Anonymous said...

pig latin also comes in handy when sprucing up your ego wall with some awards. hey, if it's in latin it MUST be true and IMPORTANT