Musings from today's trip. Starts with reality, ends with...something else. Hey! That should be my motto!
Motto s of Sac Denizens
Sheridan Valets:
Not only will we park your car, but we'll look damn good doing it!
the cafeteria (restaurant):
We make money by trying to sound unpretentious and failing. Miserably.
Sac Regional Transit:
If we're on time, we'll pay YOU a dollar!
Shoplifter from local outdoor mall: *Pant* If I can *Pant* fun faster than the cops *Pant*, I deserve to keep this stuff!
Cops:
We only ignore traffic law in an emergency. It's usually an emergency.
Lady sitting in front of me:
If a chair can lean back, it should always be leaned back. To the fullest extent possible.
Classmate:
Foremost in Fuzziness:
Even after cutting my hair, I'll wear sweaters a sheep would die to own!
Hoodlums at school: Don't worry, we can spoil your day too!
Lifeshighway:
....and it glows in the dark!
or
Lightning free for over 25 years!
Woman I saw at bus stop:
I just look like a man!
Caltrans:
Road Narrows
(repeat as needed, or just anytime you feel like watching their eyes get all scared)
Inventor of the deep fried turkey:
But have you tried deep frying it?
Squirrel (my cat):
Helping you....feed ME every day, all day!
Seagulls everywhere after watching "Finding Nemo":
MINE!
What I wish the Judge would have said instead of 4 repetitions of admonishing the jury not to discuss the trial or decide the case that I read in Mock Court today:
Shut your traps and no thinking (about anything) at ALL until you're in that Jury Room. Or I'll slit your throats....so help me God.
Financial Aid:
We're open EVERY day not ending in "Y"!
Starbucks and Makers of Spiced Pumpkin Ale:
Keepin' you comin'
In for the Pumpkin!
99 Years of restricting
when you can have
pumpkin ANYthing
Yes, I am bitter. Why does the pumpkin spiced latte have to come back? Can't it stay for a bit? Like...FOREVER???
Fleas:
Putting the "play" back in Bubonic Plague
Chuck Norris:
Mere words cannot contain Chuck Norris.
Next time: Redgirl's way to eat right!
2 comments:
OMG I get my own MOTTO!
I love it and I think I may use it!
Person in charge of food vendors at the State Fair of Texas: I
But have you tried deep frying it?
This year's entry winner "Fried Beer"
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