Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Words That Descibe

Musings from today's trip. Starts with reality, ends with...something else. Hey! That should be my motto!

Motto s of Sac Denizens

Sheridan Valets:
Not only will we park your car, but we'll look damn good doing it!

the cafeteria (restaurant):
We make money by trying to sound unpretentious and failing. Miserably.

Sac Regional Transit:
If we're on time, we'll pay YOU a dollar!

Shoplifter from local outdoor mall: *Pant* If I can *Pant* fun faster than the cops *Pant*, I deserve to keep this stuff!

Cops:
We only ignore traffic law in an emergency. It's usually an emergency.

Lady sitting in front of me:
If a chair can lean back, it should always be leaned back. To the fullest extent possible.

Classmate:
Foremost in Fuzziness:
Even after cutting my hair, I'll wear sweaters a sheep would die to own!

Hoodlums at school: Don't worry, we can spoil your day too!

Lifeshighway:
....and it glows in the dark!
or
Lightning free for over 25 years!

Woman I saw at bus stop:
I just look like a man!

Caltrans:
Road Narrows
(repeat as needed, or just anytime you feel like watching their eyes get all scared)

Inventor of the deep fried turkey:
But have you tried deep frying it?

Squirrel (my cat):
Helping you....feed ME every day, all day!

Seagulls everywhere after watching "Finding Nemo":
MINE!

What I wish the Judge would have said instead of 4 repetitions of admonishing the jury not to discuss the trial or decide the case that I read in Mock Court today:
Shut your traps and no thinking (about anything) at ALL until you're in that Jury Room. Or I'll slit your throats....so help me God.

Financial Aid:
We're open EVERY day not ending in "Y"!

Starbucks and Makers of Spiced Pumpkin Ale:
Keepin' you comin'
In for the Pumpkin!
99 Years of restricting
when you can have
pumpkin ANYthing

Yes, I am bitter. Why does the pumpkin spiced latte have to come back? Can't it stay for a bit? Like...FOREVER???

Fleas:
Putting the "play" back in Bubonic Plague

Chuck Norris:
Mere words cannot contain Chuck Norris.


Next time: Redgirl's way to eat right!

2 comments:

lifeshighway said...

OMG I get my own MOTTO!

I love it and I think I may use it!

Tufa Girl said...

Person in charge of food vendors at the State Fair of Texas: I
But have you tried deep frying it?

This year's entry winner "Fried Beer"