Him: I never go there
Me: Why? Don't like the food?
Him: Oh, the food's fine. It's the, you know, PUBLIC.
Me: True, that is the downside.
So, I'll share a few treasures just in case you can't imagine the entertainment yourself.
(A)
Even though my workplace is a completely generic, non specific Mexican-style fast food eatery, I think the general public knows the nature of combo meals in that they come with a drink...that's the point.
So when Ms. Starving pulls into the drive-thru and says she wants combo number 5...
Me: And what did you want to drink with that?
Her: I don't want nothin' to drink!
Me: So you don't want the combo?
Her: I want the combo, just don't be chargin' me fo' that drink!
Me: Ok (removes combo and just punches in the three tacos)
(B)
I've just clocked in and am waiting to get my drawer. At the beginning of a shift, we count our drawer to make sure it's at the right amount, then we are assigned to a register. I don't have my drawer yet.
A man is lurking around the counter, looking at the menu:
Me: Sir? Were you wanting to order?
Him: (nothing)
Me: (waits for a minute, he's still perusing) Were you needing to order today sir?
Him: (nothing, so I can only assume he plans on taking a while)
Him: (after a minute or two of me standing there) I want a medium soda and a --
Me: I'm so sorry, I don't have my drawer yet; let me find someone to take your order.
I go to get someone, but when I turn around, he's gone. Huh? I get my drawer and go to open the register. He pops out from somewhere and comes up to me again.
Him: (mumbles something or other; I can't make it out)
Me: I'm sorry, what was that?
Him: (mumbly mumbly, then something that sounds like:) How long have you worked here?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't understand you....
See? You should be proud of me! I'm starting to remember not to answer just any question!
Him: (gives me a really dirty look and says:) You understood me (and then walks away)
What was strange was that I was getting the *trying to pick you up* sort of vibe which is really strange because I never get that, even when it's happening. Things have to be pretty straight forward for me.
However, that does NOT mean approaching it like the following man:
I'm at a bus stop in a shady part of Sac and a man of questionable demeanor (and dress. and smell. and age. and, well, everything) approaches me.
Bum: You got any change?
Me: I don't carry cash, sorry (truth)
Bum: (sidles a little closer) Hey...you got a boyfriend?
Me: No (truth, should have lied)
Bum: You want one? (leers)
Me: No (broad lie, specific truth. Don't want YOU)
Bum: How 'bout a husband? You want a husband? (smiles)
Me: No (broad lie, specific truth. want one...with TEETH!)
Bum: (disappointed)
Me: (mildly creeped out, excited for future blog post on the subject)
3 comments:
Red heads are magical, I keep telling you this. Get used to it, you are on the bucket list.
Great teeth, look like he could work his way around a taco or two.
Hahaha YES.
Question tho:
Does the redhead on this theoretical bucket list have to be a natural redhead, or can she be from a box?
The cuffs have to match the curtains otherwise, no check on the bucket list.
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