New Year's Resolutions

Certain people (you know who you are) have been cheerfully suggesting that we all share New Year's Resolutions. While this idea is charming in it's naivete, there remains a problem.

 

I'm not writing anything down that people can then refer to:

 

Them: Hey! Your resolution list says that you were going exercise EVERY day!

You: I broke my flippin' ankle!

Them: But you saaaiiiid....

 

See? Not good.

 

In that spirit, I present to you some of MY resolutions*:

 

1) At least once a week, smile at a small child and think affectionate thoughts

2) Not to lose half finished letters to my little sister that I find 3 months later and have to decide then whether there is still enough interesting content and/or humor to still mail it to her.

3) Actually start practicing at home on my steno writer...let's start with once a week and see what happens.

4) Take the amount of times that I say I will write a blog post, divide it by a yet undetermined number, and have that actually be the number of times that I post.

5) Ditto for writing fiction.

6) No more than 2 pots of coffee a day (I'll drink tea instead)

7) At least once a day, decide NOT to say something rather than saying it. This will help me appear more mysterious and wise. It doesn't count if what I would have said was "Watch out for that car, you're gonna get hiiii.....ahh...too late"

 

*May or may not be factual or intended. Some humor may be implied. Do your bad things now; Santa's still sleeping off the eggnog. Batteries included if retail price is greater than $25.79. Instructions sold separately.