I took copious notes, jotted down some real zingers uttered....in an actual courtroom setting.
Awesomely stupendous, oi?
So, tomorrow, we'll have a big helping of "So by saying suspended, you meant my license was, like, suspended?" followed by a tureen of phone threats and name calling. Entree is a pile of unopened Christmas presents, and for dessert, a dollop of brothers from different mothers spritzed with rhetorical questions from the Bench.
But that's tomorrow's menu.
Today, you get commentary on MexiGong. (I think of you, Funder, every time I use that, with a snicker)
At every one's nonspecific faux Mexican fast food restaurant, we have combos. Does this sound familiar? One of the most common things I hear:
Them: I want the number 4.
Me: With what to drink?
Them: I don't want nuthin' to drink
Me: Sooo...you just want to purchase 3 tacos?
Them: No (you idiot), I want the combo, just no drink!
Them: Uuhh...yeah, I guess so
My comment on this is that I think it's the pictures that draw people. Combos have pictures. The see and go "oooh! I wanty!"
Then we have Mrs. Layt. Mrs. Layte came in the Monday of Christmas week. She wanted to purchase some $5 gift cards.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't carry those. We normally carry the $10 and $20 ones, but we only have the $20 ones in stock right now.
Mrs. Layt: That's ridiculous! You had them last year!
Me: I'm not sure the company makes them anymore, because all the promotional posters only have the two I mentioned.
Mrs. Layt: You're wrong...I can't believe you people! I drove all the way down to get here--a half hour--and you're saying you don't have them?! I always get them for my family for Christmas. NOW what am I going to do???
I think it's interesting that we aren't allowed to run out of a product; that it was OUR fault that she couldn't do the easy-breezy Christmas shopping she wanted to do. She also tried to make me feel guilty for not having them when she had to drive all the way down here. I don't know about you people, but I'll usually check on something like that if the drive is more than 15 minutes and it was all that I wanted to get. (Plus, I used patented RedGirl strategies on dealing with people trying to guilt-trip you! Works every time! As seen on the Internet! Which was invented by Al Gore! Which rhymes with smores! I like smores! They have chocolate in them....)
Then we had a woman come back after having gone through the drive-thru. She was standing to the side, waiting, while a manager was doing something on the line (food prep).
Me: What's the issue?
Coworker: She went through the drive-thru, and when she got her food home....half an hour later...it was cold.
Me: She came back for THAT?
Coworker: She's really very upset.
What really brightens my day though, is something that lifeshighway will give me black marks for, but something that, if you people know me at all should be obvious.
I love it when people come in and order something that's not on the menu anymore.
Them: I'd like a chicken flatbread sandwich.
Me: I'm so sorry...(not) but we don't carry those anymore.
Them: (get really upset and lost looking) But I loved those!!! (proceeds to make it my personal fault we don't have them anymore. OBVs I knew he really liked them, and had a problem with him personally, so ripped down the signs when I saw him coming and bribed the rest of the staff to be in on it)
Repeat this with the enchilada burritos, the 12 taco pack, the giant, calorie laden chalupa, and several other burritos. I love the crestfallen looks on their faces, the betrayal in their eyes. "I loved you, how could you do this to me?"
It's really all I can do not to laugh. Even my lips twitch a bit while I try to distract them with sad eyebrows.
Any things y'all find funny in a similar vein? Don't be shy! No one's judging you! (except me. I'm always judging)