Monday, July 20, 2009
Being nice is my job.
I thought I'd start out with this to clear up any misunderstandings.
I'm a hermit by nature, but when in a public situation? I become my public persona. I smile, I make small talk, joke and laugh. Who knows if this is the person I will eventually morph into, but for now, it's not me. It's what I switch on for work.
And as with any light, sometimes you forget to hit the switch when you leave the room.
The light stays burning and any number of this can happen. Wasted electricity? Check. Drapes caught on fire by wayward candle? Check. Live wiring coming into contact with water that electrifies the entire wet floor and fries person who steps in it with non rubber-soled shoe? Check.
At heart, I'm a nice person, and treat various people with kindness and smiles, because that seems like the right thing to do.
Toss all this in a blender, add ice, vodka, cucumber, and a squeeze of lime and the following occurs:
I went by a certain drugstore no longer to be known as Longs to purchase a bottle of scotch (don't ask) and this employee there whom I had seen every now and then when I went was there. He's probably around 35/40 (I'm horrible at ages) rather short African American man. I only say short because I'm pretty short, and he was around my height.
Because I get off work at 11pm, it means that I like to go shopping on my way home....around midnight. I was going to check out with one employee, but there was a problem with the register, and rather than fix it, my "special friend" with much good cheer checked me out himself at a different one.
Attend to the following convo:
Him: You gonna drink that all by yourself?
Me: (taken aback by question...huh?)...I intend it to take a week or so....
Then I headed over to the neighboring supermarket to get a few things. On my way back to my transportation in front of the business no longer to be known as Longs, the man from earlier is (apparently) on a smoke break and approaches me.
Him: Hey....I was wondering...
Him: Well, if you wanted to go out sometime.
Me: (mouth metaphorically drops open)
Him: Or just hang out...
Me: Um...I'm really busy with work...you know, getting up at 7am, having to to bed at 1am...don't' really have time for anything....extracurricular...you know...
Him: I totally understand, but if you change your mind....?
Me: (weak smile) I know where to find you!
I'm one of those people who...
yeah. that. but in every way.
Like, when when I meet anybody, I analyze what could happen and how I would respond in every sense of the word. I now draw your attention to the commercial from Target to explain:
In case you can't watch it, or haven't seen it, it's the one where the band members pop out of the wallpaper and you're all "Whaaaa---OH! It's a person!!"
Ie, this guy was wallpaper to me...He didn't even appear in my "what if" mind set. Not only that, it was totally inappropriate for him to approach me in that manner...on the clock...and all.
I came out of this with several feelings--tell me if I'm wrong:
He asked me while on the clock...inappropriate. Now I no longer want to shop there in case I run into him.
Are people so "un-nice" to the average person that when someone IS nice, then they think the person is interested? I never "flirted" with the man, I was just nice...like I am to everyone at work. Was he just so unused to someone being nice to him that he misread the intention?
To move on though:
There was this guy....(hey, I warned you this would be on relationships)
There was a guy at the hotel who was friends with the bartender. As he was loitering in the lobby while bartender-man clocked out, I made small talk. At that point I realized that he wasn't a guest, but just a friend. He made a point to say my name and that it was a "really special name" and then when he left, I got this;
"You have a wonderful name, don't let anyone tell you different"
I wasn't aware that I had a problem with it.
I like my name.
I never intended on feeling bad about it.
I will never understand men.