I got to thinking about those games and retreats that highly paid execs go to where they learn to trust each other, fall, and receive multiple awkward backrubs. Even though we’re not very highly paid, MexiGong employees deserve to experience this magic.
And I’ve thought of the perfect way.
If you read the title of this post (I know not all of you do), you probably know what I mean.
There are plenty of interesting places to hide “treasures” around then place here. I’ll let you guess which ones I have actually found items in thus far:
- Inside the trash doors, but not inside the trash CAN
- Inside the cubby under the soft drink area, but to the side
- Behind the seat cushions on a funky black ledge
- Inside the water reservoirs of the toilets
- Jammed up inside the seat cover dispenser in the men’s bathroom
- Taped under a table or chair
- Hidden inside a soap dispenser next to the bag of soap
- Tucked up under the men’s sink in the insulation
Although all of these are good ideas, (and I’m sure I’ll see them in use eventually), the answers for now are E and H.
I think the issue of the men’s bathroom is that it doesn’t have a trashcan. I mean, when it comes down to it, what normal thing needs to be done routinely in a man’s life in a public bathroom that can’t wait an hour? (Hrmmm…don’t answer that) So, when a man needs to take care of a little extra baggage, he’s going to try to find a way to stash it so that the next man (or MexiGong employee going in to clean the bathroom) won’t see, remember who came out last, and JUDGE.
The first set I found was E: Seat cover dispenser. “What?” you ask. And I would say, “An empty 4-pack of AA batteries and the packaging for KY Massage Oil For Him And Her.”
Then we would both collectively say “Eeeeeww….”
I ask you…really? I mean, I’ve got ideas for that batteries, but the other is confusing. In a MexiGong bathroom? REALLY?
As for the other item, this one I really like. I had leaned over to pick something off the floor (with gloved hands of course) and noticed an object in the H hiding place. What could it be?
It was a mostly empty bottle of Southern Comfort, I tell you! It had about a fifth left in it. I proudly bore it to the back, dodged into the break room and took a pic for you all (with my camera phone!) and tossed it in the trash. Then I invited the rest of the workers and my manager to see my prize.
Again I ask. Really? I may be heading into conjecture here, but I’m really trying to figure out the circumstances of this one.
There you are on a Monday, and by golly you need a drink! You go to the liquor store and plunk down $8.99 plus tax for a plastic bottle of Southern Comfort.
Now, you don’t want to go dumping something that’s 100 proof on an empty stomach, so you feel like a little MexiGong to take the edge off of that initial rubbing alcohol buzz.
“2 crunchy tacos to go” you say, and then “a water cup,” because of course, just because that’s what it’s called doesn’t mean that’s what you’re planning on putting in it, right? ‘Cause that would just be dumb.
Plus, you’ve already got a beverage.
You down those crunchy tacos like a crocodile yanking a struggling zebra down to the bottom of the river. Now you REALLY need a drink to dull the crunchy edges of those tacos hitting your stomach lining.
You head into the bathroom—some place private.
Before you realize it, 4/5s of the bottle is gone!
That’s all right. It wasn’t like you were planning on sharing it anyway.
Now’s where we start diverging:
But then people start knocking on the door. After all, it has been an hour. In a drunken stupor, you accidentally ate the paper bag it came in, thinking it was a steak quesadilla with extra jalapeño sauce, and you can’t just carry the bottle out OPENly..sooo…you stuff it up under the sink; lodging it in the pipes and insulation.
Then, because you’re drunk, you forget it was there to retrieve.
You hear cop sirens screech to a halt outside the door. Crap! They know what you did last summer! (finally…) It will be even worse if they catch you will alcohol on your person (never mind the fact that you’re reeking of 100 proof), so you stash it and hightail it out the other door.
You realize that you are hungry again, so you stash the bottle and run out and get 2 more tacos. By the time you go back in, an intrepid MexiGong employee has removed it.
‘Kay, so in the comments, I would love to hear what explanations y’all can come up with for why I found this!