Sunday, May 2, 2010

..It's Like a Magnet or Something

Lots of crazy people in this weekend....artsy people. We stuck one couple in a room that's kind of off by itself at the end of a long hall and through a door that opens into another hall.

The lonesome pine of hotel rooms.

Security Sam comes to the desk and says he smells smoke in the area through that first door. That means that literally the smoke can only be coming from that one room. He wants a second opinion, so I send Nightgirl, the newest member of our staff. (She's the Night Auditor...get it? get it?) After all, with my allergies, a skunk could be patrolling the halls and I would just get all excited about the smell of fresh ground french roast...

But that's another story.

They return with a story.

Sam: (knocks, hears furtive whispering and clinking of bottles. Beer anyone?) Hello? This is security. I just need to let you know that there is no smoking in the rooms. (No response) If you smoke in the room, there is a $400 cleaning fee.

Room: (giggle, clinking bottles) Ok!

Now. The fee they signed for is really only $200, but Sam was just throwing a number out there to get the point across.

Upon checkout: They were informed of the fee, which Greygirl only put $250 on.

Room: We didn't smoke in the room! Have housekeeping check!

Greygirl: We received a report from security that was confirmed by another witness that there was smoking in the room the night before last.

Room: Well..we had the window open, and people were smoking out there. It must have gotten into the room. (and been strong enough to go through your room, under your door, and out into the hall? Please.)

Greygirl: I'm sorry, but you'd have to speak to my manager.

Room: Wait, no, it was the emergency exit door! It was open, so that's how the smoke must have gotten into the hall.

Greygirl: The emergency door is always closed. (That's why it's an Emergency door...)

Room: (Skitters away with manager's card looking petulant)

Myself, Greengirl and Greygirl were rehashing the weekend when someone else checked in. We informed them that, while they did have a balcony, they were not to smoke on them. After they left:

Greengirl: Because the smoke would get into the room and then make its way down to Lone Pine Room.

Redgirl: Because that's where all the smoke in the hotel goes. It's like a smoke magnet.

So: Smoke Magnet Room (or The Smoke Magnet) or Lone Pine Room (or The Pine)?

We need to label this room, and "The Cursed Room" is already taken (as well as not being applicable anywayz.)


lifeshighway said...

The hotel ventilation systems runs through the pine room. I bet sometimes it smells like ground roast coffee or sweaty socks or smoke given the time of day.

redgirl said...

...and during happy hour, that pleasant smell of inebriated people and their..."products"